[16 March, 2010]

rummaging for answers in the pages

So I realized the other day that I work more than two full-time jobs. I did the calculations and it actually hit me: my practicum is 20 hrs/week, which is a part-time job, on top of a full-time load of courses, on top of another part-time load of teaching and tutoring. The rest of the time is spent stressing about assignments, feeling pain for my clients' difficult lives, worrying about recruiting participants for my research project, and generally feeling inadequate in all of the tasks I'm undertaking. I've also done these calculations: there are 24 x 7 = 168 hours in a week, right? 168 total hrs - 80 hrs of work = 88 non-immediate-work hours - (5 hrs/night x 7 = 35 hrs of sleep per week) = 53 hrs / 7 = 7.5 hrs per day available, where 2-3 hrs/day are spent commuting, 1-2 hrs/day are spent eating, and the rest are spent feverishly scrambling. And that's my breakdown every day (including weekends) and every week (including holidays). All of this on half the sleep that I'd normally need, and 10x the coffee that I'd normally consume. I'm only writing this down, because, although I knew it was this way, I didn't know it was this way. And when I realized it, I finally went, Wow! No wonder I've been feeling so shitty!

I'm all about externalizing blame.

Here is a new word I learned today: alexithymia. It stems from Greek, meaning: a (without) + lexi (words) + thymia (emotions). Someone who exhibits alexithymia is someone who cannot put words to their emotions. Or, like, every man you know. This also made me wonder if someone named Alexis would be someone without words? Without a voice? Mute? And also, is someone named Alexanda, someone who is without the words of man (andros)? I'm sure baby books will tell you that they both have something to do with God or wisdom or power, but hey, I'm just deciphering Greek here.

Ok, now that I've spent 30 min writing nothing important to no one in particular, I better get on with it. On to my scheduled freakout, ahoy!

6 sighs or salutations:

ряж(л)енка | 17 March, 2010

I know you've had reasons against it, but now that you've done the math, could moving to the city be a legitimate consideration - saving 10 hours a week or so?

Re: Alexandra (since I don't want my future daughter to be without the words of man :P )

Alexandra (Greek: Αλεξάνδρᾱ) is the feminine form of the given name Alexander, which is a romanization of the Greek name Αλέξανδρος (Alexandros). Etymologically, the name is a compound of the Greek verb ἀλέξειν (alexein) "to defend" and the noun ἀνδρός (andros), genitive of ἀνήρ (anēr) "man". Thus it may be roughly translated as "protector of man".

Not that Wikipedia is the most reliable source in the world, but it IS possible to have different roots that look similar...

ряж(л)енка | 17 March, 2010

PS: Happy St. Patrick's Day! : ) I was just thinking of the year we went to the parade...

daria | 17 March, 2010

Haha, well, ok. We'll call her "protector (without words) of man". Unless you have a son. :p

I _wish_ we could live in the city. But logistically, this is still better... I just have to suffer. heh. I mean, it's cheaper here, way cheaper (which is a biggie, when we're living on loans), and otherwise, Jeremy would have to commute the same amount anyway. And plus we're only here for another 1-2 more years, until my internship which could be anywhere in the country. And if we ever come back to the area for jobs and whatnot, I think we'll live in the city.
This particular craziness is just until the end of May/early June, then I'll have no more classes and no more teaching, just practicum. And next year, hopefully I'll have less classes, and maybe less teaching as well. So it's only up from here..

Aw, I miss St. Patrick's festivities! :) In fact, I'm wearing the green (striped) sweater that I bought especially for the occasion the year that we went to the parade. :) It's just not the same here -- Berkeley is not nearly as Irish as Boston and not nearly as college-town-drinking as Ann Arbor. So people are hardly festive today. But you better believe I am! Erin Go Bragh!

daria | 18 March, 2010

OH and also! Forgot to mention that my practicum is actually in the East Bay. The agency itself is 3 mi from my house, so I can ride my bike there. But the school where I work is about a 30 min drive (whereas it'd more like 1hr 30 min from the city). And J's practicum is in Marin. So I think living in the city would've been less convenient for us this year... it's just that this area is so large and dense, with things everywhere, and you're expected to be able to travel from one corner to another on a regular basis (that's what people do around here). But next year, hopefully my practicum will be in the city (i.e., hopefully I'll get the one I want), so in that sense, it'll be a drag to keep going back and forth daily. But then, you'd be surprised how many people really do it...

Clement | 29 March, 2010

OMG... you sleep 5 hrs a night? I think I would go crazy if I only have 5 hrs of sleep every night.

daria | 03 April, 2010

Clement, yeah, I think the point here is that I pretty much AM going crazy!! heh. I mean, 5 hrs is an average... sometimes it's more like 7 hrs and sometimes it's more like 3. Which probably makes it worse... Needless to say, it's not a good situation.

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