[13 March, 2010]

no one mourns the wicked

Shoot guys, it's already March! Almost the middle of March, in fact, and when did that happen? I feel that this is how my life has been going lately: wondering what month it is, wondering what year it is?! And the next thing I'll know, there will be hospital bills and a eulogy! Things will be like this until at least the end of the semester in June, with every minute double-booked with meetings and assignments and clients and paperwork. This is hard for me, not because my back isn't strong enough to carry the weight (though it is getting tired), but because I resent missing out on life. I like living in the moment, and the moments around me are just so wonderful. It's a difficult balance, but I think I'm learning to appreciate whatever momentary glimpse of life I do experience. Like right now: the tree in our little garden outside the apartment window is bursting with white flowers, it's sunny out there, and birds periodically land on the bird-feeder. Sigh -- I want to take the dog to the marina park with a blanket and a book. I want to go back to the projects I started before this whirlwind of school and work happened. Maybe in June...

I have many thoughts (yes I do!) circulating in my head at all times. Thoughts I would like to write down, process, and discuss. I think I'll try writing mini-posts as often as I can, just to commemorate a few of the various things I'm learning and experiencing.

For example, things I've thought about recently:

* The term "opposite sex" is incorrect, misleading, and actually kind of offensive. We are not a dichotomy and we are not opposing. I wish there was a way to teach people to stop using it...
* The show "Lost" is going in a disappointing and misogynistic direction. I really liked the show at first, but now it's become a fight between territorial men over exotic land, with women and minorities as background sidekicks. Way to establish patriarchy on the island as on the "main land", white male screenplay writers.
* Women today refer to their pubic hair as "gross, dirty, and disgusting" (whereas most men really don't seem to mind, and probably actually prefer, it). Is it because younger women have watched too many episodes and the movie of Sex and the City (remember when it started out as empowering independent women and ended with oppressive comments about Miranda's bikini line)? Obviously I find hair on women just as natural and womanly as I find hair on men natural and manly, so I just don't understand this whole "brazilian" trend.

I could go on, but I know I am being the epitome of a feminist social researcher right now. But what can you do if this is what my brain is steeped in day-in and day-out? And actually, I like who this is shaping me to be (which I guess is a good thing, otherwise I would need to go to therapy (just kidding, I still need to go to therapy, as should we all)). But I promise my education and life are much more well-rounded, and hopefully there will be comments on all sorts of interesting and well-rounded things of note that I am thinking and feeling. For now, I'm off to analyze transcripts on the gender roles of Soviet women. Ha!

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