Dark side of the moon

Friday was kind of a sad and lonely night. Sad and lonely, but also kind of peaceful. I didn't feel the same uneasiness that was lingering in my heart just last weekend. Things are always up and down and all around with me inside, always complicated and multidimensional. My feelings are so fragile too; one little thing can tip the scales from sunny to tempestuous. Much like Connecticut weather.

My moods are on my mind a lot. I mentally track and analyze them, trying to find patterns, explanations, any kind of insight, really. Girls, I guess, are funny like that. Not only do they feel all sorts of weird things at any given moment, they also actually want to think about those feelings subsequently. It always takes some sort of subconscious effort to keep things from exploding and on the positive side. Careful composure and the occasional self-talk help me stay in control, and I think day after day I get better at it.

P.S. On a completely unrelated note - I flipped to the Animal Channel only to find Natalie Portman taking part in a show for the protection of gorillas in Rwanda. Is there anything this girl can't/doesn't do? Seriously. She's so amazing and down-to-earth, prancing around the jungle in a simple sweatshirt, a ponytail, and no makeup at all. Also, these animals are literally making me cry. I am so much more likely to get emotional when seeing animals suffer as opposed to, say, humans. Maybe I should listen to Jeremy when he tells me that I should really go into working with animals... Only I am not ready to give up the sleepless nights, the tears, and the humiliation of the grad school application process. Clearly.

Also, enjoy Natalie is her young, green days (she's the one on the right out of the three background dancing girls)!