Prostokvasha

[24 June, 2008]

Dear stranger,

I woke up from a dream this morning with a heavy feeling of longing. Fresh sweet-tasting memories of you-as-friend lingered in my head, as though I could just reach over and hug you again with one of those loving awkward hugs. You know, the ones where you hesitate to lean in first, unsure which way the arms should wrap around, and then you just go for it and end up in a tight embrace. I liked those.

I rode my bike to work still in a dreamy haze. Unaware of the passing cars or the wind chilling my face, I focused only on the nice surreal feeling of seeing you care, seeing you open up. Ah, that nice surreal feeling. And all throughout the day I tried to jolt myself back to reality: you are gone, mentally and emotionally gone, and you are not coming back. The end.

Then, I came across this while lurking at PostSecret. It was exactly the wrong thing at the right time for me. I know there is close to 0% chance you could ever think anything like this, but it was just the false hope I needed.

So all this is to say: please come back and hug me awkwardly again.

Stranger than strange,
A familiar remnant

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