Realization

I woke up from my mid-afternoon nap sweaty and disoriented. The sadness from the lingering dream, or rather a nightmare, was heavy in my chest, and suddenly it hit me: I am leaving. Once again, I am leaving for good.

In a few short months, I will no longer see the Atlantic Ocean every morning. I will no longer have fun roommates or the chance to catch up with friends in New England pubs. And I will no longer be able to hop in my car and end up in Boston two hours later. That one hurts the most, its implications hardest to grasp. We can promise and pledge constant contact all we want, but the reality, of course, seems grimmer. Our lifestyles are too different even now to allow a quick face-to-face, and I just know the coastal distance will not help.

So here I go again, packing up my life and wishing you too would feel this urgency.