Prostokvasha

[19 November, 2008]

Guest speaker

Hi everyone! Erin here from the state that i am in. I’m blogging here today instead of at my usual digs as part of the Twenty-something bloggers blog swap. Hopefully, you find this post so scintillating that you’ll hop right over to my blog and add me to your reader.

Most likely, that will not be the case because I’ve really been struggling with what to write this post about. Unfortunately, what I’ve settled on is a post about my ex-boyfriend’s bathroom habits.

I apologize in advance.

So, there was this guy I dated in college. We were pretty serious, but I should have taken the warning signs that he was a nut and gotten out a lot sooner. You see, he had some interesting bathroom habits. They weren’t that obvious when we first started dating, but the more serious things got the more I noticed.

In particular, he had some peculiar bathroom habits surrounding the #2. I first came to notice these habits on a trip to the grocery store. It went something like this:

Boyfriend: I’ll be right back. I’ve gotta use the bathroom.

Me: OK.

5 minutes go by. Strange. Men are usually fast.

15 minutes go by. Maybe it was the Mexican food we had for dinner.

30 minutes go by. Should I go check on him?

45 minutes later he comes out. I’m fuming.

Me: Ummm, what the hell were you doing in there?

BF: Going to the bathroom.

Me: For 45 minutes? What took so long?

BF: Well, I had to poop.

Me: For 45 minutes?

BF: Well, I did have some trouble with my shoe.

Me: Your shoe?

BF: Yeah, I had trouble getting it back on.

Me: Why on earth would you take your shoe off?

BF: So I could take my pants off.

Me: Excuse me?

BF: I have to take my pants off to poop. Pants are too restrictive in the bathroom.

Me: Oh.

Yeah, I know. I really should have left him right then and there.

So, that’s my story! Hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to stop by my blog any time!

[A p.s. from Daria: You can also check out my swap post over on Erin's site.]

2 sighs or salutations:

Lily | 19 November, 2008

That is hilarious! And SO WEIRD (apologies to anyone else that does that)! And I did enjoy that, so I WILL add you :)

Sara | 22 November, 2008

That definitely makes him undateable (is that a word??)!

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