boy (or girl?), am I frustrated

what if

I broke up sentences

that got too long

like this

then maybe

it would get

a bit more

easier to breathe

with one word

following the other

like steps

one foot

behind and one

ahead

some people have it worse

something more neutral

So I was perusing the internet, and actually, I was looking for a Friends clip when "the messees become the messers", but instead I stumbled upon this priceless scene. It's just too good not to be shared:

sometimes all you can do is laugh...

...because humor is a defense mechanism, too.



Would you seriously tell this guy your life story?:



Come on, it's worked for others in the past. Clearly.

Moving on

Wow. I just reread yesterday's bout of depressive craziness, and yeah...

But.

I am leaving it up, because, well, where else would I be able to whine and complain if not on my own personal blog? So it stays. If for nothing else, then for history's sake.

Anyway.

Now, let's talk about something far more benign and neutral: seasonal fruit!

First up is the much-loved pomegranate.



Mmm. Have you noticed how popular it's become lately in indie circles? Or has it always been that way? I don't know. I just know my mom used to make me eat pomegranates as a anemic sickly child for their nutrients. They must've been brought up from the warm lands of Georgia and Armenia to frozen St. Petersburg. That was one of the perks of the Soviet Union. Also, isn't it strange that we eat this fruit's seeds. And that it has essentially no flesh. Is there even another fruit that is consumed solely for its seeds? I can't think of any. I am trying to find out which other animals use pomegranates as part of their diets, and if so, how they go about eating them. Bash them open? Poke a beak through their hard shell? Or gnaw it off? It is unclear.



Up next are persimmons (though technically berries), in all their sweet juicy tart fleshy goodness. Who can resist a nice ripe persimmon on a cool wintery day? Luckily, persimmon trees grow in northern California, along with oranges, tangerines, and lemons. Here, there is always vitamin C in your diet.

Also, I thought I'd make a pitch here for the avocado: pretty much the best fruit (also technically a berry) EVARR! Eat with them lemon juice, salt, peppers, tomatoes, sour cream, or sugar, or in a smoothie. Yummy!



Now that I've made myself sufficiently hungry for one of my favorite food groups, you tell me: what's your favorite fruit or seasonal food?

Guest speaker

Hi everyone! Erin here from the state that i am in. I’m blogging here today instead of at my usual digs as part of the Twenty-something bloggers blog swap. Hopefully, you find this post so scintillating that you’ll hop right over to my blog and add me to your reader.

Most likely, that will not be the case because I’ve really been struggling with what to write this post about. Unfortunately, what I’ve settled on is a post about my ex-boyfriend’s bathroom habits.

I apologize in advance.

So, there was this guy I dated in college. We were pretty serious, but I should have taken the warning signs that he was a nut and gotten out a lot sooner. You see, he had some interesting bathroom habits. They weren’t that obvious when we first started dating, but the more serious things got the more I noticed.

In particular, he had some peculiar bathroom habits surrounding the #2. I first came to notice these habits on a trip to the grocery store. It went something like this:

Boyfriend: I’ll be right back. I’ve gotta use the bathroom.

Me: OK.

5 minutes go by. Strange. Men are usually fast.

15 minutes go by. Maybe it was the Mexican food we had for dinner.

30 minutes go by. Should I go check on him?

45 minutes later he comes out. I’m fuming.

Me: Ummm, what the hell were you doing in there?

BF: Going to the bathroom.

Me: For 45 minutes? What took so long?

BF: Well, I had to poop.

Me: For 45 minutes?

BF: Well, I did have some trouble with my shoe.

Me: Your shoe?

BF: Yeah, I had trouble getting it back on.

Me: Why on earth would you take your shoe off?

BF: So I could take my pants off.

Me: Excuse me?

BF: I have to take my pants off to poop. Pants are too restrictive in the bathroom.

Me: Oh.

Yeah, I know. I really should have left him right then and there.

So, that’s my story! Hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to stop by my blog any time!

[A p.s. from Daria: You can also check out my swap post over on Erin's site.]

Mostly for shits. I mean, scheitz.

You know how you've seen most of these on various shirts and mugs. Well, I decided to search for as many as I could find, and compile a comprehensive list. Because I find our classifications and understanding of the world amusing. Here is what I came up with:

Optimist: The glass is half full.
Pessimist: The glass if half empty.
Realist: Yup, that's a glass, alright.
Idealist: One day, cold-fusion from a glass of water will provide unlimited energy and end war.
Capitalist: If I bottled this and gave it a New Agey sounding name, I could make a fortune.
Conspiracist: The government is fluoridating the water for mind-control purposes.
Sexist: The glass isn't gonna refill itself, honeybun.
Engineer: The glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Cynic: It doesn't matter, as the glass is going to break, anyway.
Nihilist: The glass does not exist, and neither do I.
Alcoholic: I'm sure I emptied the glass.
Kleptomaniac: I stole the glass.
The government: The glass is fuller than if the opposition party were in power.
The opposition: It is irrelevant because the present administration has changed the way such volume statistics are collected.
The philosopher: If the glass was in the forest and no one was there to see it, would it be half anything?
The economist: In real terms, the glass is 25% fuller than at the same time last year.
The banker: The glass has just under 50% of its net worth in liquid assets.
The psychoanalyst: What did your mother say about the glass?
The physicist: The volume of this cylinder is divided into two equal parts; one a colorless, odorless liquid, the other a colorless, odorless gas. Thus the cylinder is neither full nor empty. Rather, each half of the cylinder is full, one with a gas, one with a liquid.

Any others you know about?

Ink

I have been more than slightly and completely shamelessly addicted to L.A. Ink lately. And by addicted, I mostly mean intensely sucked in by the incredible art of these great tattooists that literally makes me salivate right onto my pale unmarked skin.

I do have a small tattoo of a star on my foot. It is a tribute to my wistful college years where I dreamed big dreams about an important and bright future. I've always wanted to continue in this form of body modification, but was never able to commit to one design. All these ideas just linger in my head without a place to materialize. I should just go ahead and do it one of these days. That is, when I quit my job, sell all my belongs, and become a street bum.

Here are some of these designs. I wanted to write them down, more for my own reference. And hey, maybe one of these will appear on my skin sometime. Starting with the smallest, and therefore cheapest and easiest to get away with:

1. Vanitas

This one would go on the inside of my left arm, just below the wrist. A skull, much like the one in this picture -- realistic, not punk-rock -- facing to the right, with "Vanitas" written in old script on a scroll-like banner underneath.
Vanitas was a common theme for European paintings circa 1600s. The latin translates to "vanity" or "emptiness", and stands for the finality of life and the ultimate uselessness of worldly possessions. It is something I think about on a daily basis, and it would just be nice to have this reminder and manifestation with me always. Plus, what an interesting conversation starter?

2. Peace
A dove, the symbol of peace and the Holy Spirit, would be on my back, wings outstretched across my shoulder blades. It's hard for me to find a visual, but know this: it would be stylized, wings textured like those of the angels in medieval icons, carrying an olive branch. God, I've been wanting this one for so long.

3. Homage to G.P.
This one is a little bit more complicated and involved. It would be a culmination of various objects representing my grandparents all in one fluid composition, stretching from my right hip to my ribs. Three of my four grandparents are still alive, but even so, I'd love to commemorate their influence in my life. They have truly been instrumental in me feeling like I actually have a family in this mess of a life situation.
I imagine this tattoo to be a vibrant scene of an old, wise tree with thick bark and green windy branches, representing the overall wisdom I've received from my grandparents. Against this tree would lean an old bicycle, a symbol for my paternal grandpa, of course. He has been riding his bike since at least the 60s, which is pretty much as awesome as he is fit. Then, on one of the branches would sit an owl, for my maternal grandma. When we were little, she would tell my cousin and me tales of an owl who surely would come and snatch us at night if we didn't settle down. NOW. Owls also are symbols of wisdom, which would be a continued metaphor in this scene.

Now, here is where I struggle to come up with something for my paternal grandma. Not because I can't think of something, but because I can think of too many things. She has always been a great teacher and family member to me, and I treasure and miss her a lot. One way to bring her into the scene would be through music notes in the filigree of the branches, or through flowers around the tree. But these don't seem significant enough. What would really fit her though, would be a Pegasus. My grandma, she is the kind of wicked-smart person who talks in riddles and references Greek mythology in her everyday conversations. When I was about 5 years old, she gave me a little blue Pegasus toy, which is how I first learned about this legend. I can't even count the number of these subtle interactions and the mental trivia I now have because of her. But how to involve a mysterious mythical Pegasus in this down-to-earth serene scene?


3b. Despite, or perhaps because of my grandma's insane intellect, she definitely appears like a crazy cat/book/plant lady. She has the latter two in abundance strewn about her pre-Revolutionary apartment. She loves flowers and always reveres their delicate and lively nature, so another design idea would be a beautiful purple flower over the curve of my shoulder. Besides, a tattoo dedicated solely to her would only be appropriate.
P.S. I just found out that her favorite flower is a red rose. Which, coincidentally happens to be not only one of my favorite flowers, but also the flower of my wedding and bridal bouquet. Somehow this just makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

So these are a few of my favorite things. Things that have had a permanent presence in my life. Enough so, that I would not be covering these up on my 80 year old withering body. I know you appreciated that image.

Coup d'Etat

Ninety years ago today, Russia's fate was changed forever. One crazy guy decided it would be a good idea to overthrow the existing monarchic system, and with that, he made history. Here is what the Writer's Almanac has to say about it:

It was on this day in 1917 that the Russian Revolution took place. In the years leading up to it, hundreds of thousands of Russians had died in World War I, there'd been a series of food shortages, and prices of available goods had risen by more than 700 percent in just three years.

The revolution was led by Vladimir Lenin, who had been in exile in Switzerland, plotting to overthrow the Russian government. In April 1917, he crossed the border back into Russia for the first time in 10 years and went underground. He had to sneak through the streets in a disguise to attend a meeting of the Bolsheviks in late October of that year, but he persuaded a majority of his party to launch an armed takeover of the country. The coup met almost no resistance on this day in 1917, and the next day, Lenin was elected chairman of the Council of the new Soviet Government. Overnight, he had gone from a fugitive in hiding to the leader of the largest country in the world.

Lenin believed that a Communist country would need to be ruled at first by a military dictatorship, but that once Communism took hold, people would be so happy with the new system that the police state would wither away, and society would become a classless stateless paradise. But Russia remained a totalitarian police state for more than 70 years.

One dictatorship exchanged for another. Шило на мыло, so to speak. It's interesting to think that until the 1980s, theoretically, Russia has never functioned under a democracy. Western societies wonder why it has taken so long to adjust to this new political scheme, but just think. Figuring out voting rights, the stock exchange, and trade? It didn't come easy to the pilgrims either. You have to work for your Capitalism. And who is to say that it's the answer to the world's problems, really.

Communism, I think, is actually a fascinating philosophy. I mean, it's based solely on the goodness of the people (which I have my doubts about), and what can be more beautiful than that (minus the religion being the opium for the people bit)? A society where everyone shares the resources and "from each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs"? Nice optimism there, Mr. Marx. Too bad experience has shown that we are incapable of such idealism.

And with that, I'll leave you with my favorite Земфира song (how crazy is her site, btw). As well as another really sweet Zemfira song. Ok, this is pretty cool too.